Valentines Day – Psychologists Top Tips on Finding Mr or Miss Big!


Psychologists have studied human relationships in great detail over many years but, what advice would they give some one who is looking Mr or Miss Big on Valentines Day? Here is some advice based upon by psychological research –

1. “The Way to a Man’s Heart…”

It is said that in order to seduce someone we should wine and dine them – this old age adage is true to some extent!… Williams-Bargh, (2008) discovered that when participants were given a hot cup of tea, they were more likely to perceive another’s personality as “warmer”compared to those who were given a cold cup of coffee to hold. Also Tovee-Swami, (2006) discovered that satiated men were more likely to be attracted to women with curvier figures whilst those who were hungry were attracted to women with less curvier figures.

However, this does not meant however, that you try and re-enact the second deadly sin scene – gluttony –  from the film “Seven” and force feed your prospective partner! What it does mean is that you should ask them to join you for a coffee, tea, hot chocolate and/or supper in order for you both to get to know each other – if the  good food and drink helps then this is an added bonus.

2. Whispering Sweet Nothings..

Often in a bid to meet Mr Big or Miss Big we attend Valentine “Disco’s” (showing my age!) at local night clubs and spend the night shouting at each other over the loud music increasing the chances greatly of being misunderstood by your prospective other half! However, all is not lost as Marzoli-Thommasi, (2009) discovered. These two psychologists discovered that people in a night club were more likely to comply with requests from strangers if they were spoken in their right rather than their left ear.

Please note ladies and gentlemen this does not mean that you shout in the person’s ear in a Dom Jolly style but, it does mean that you cannot whisper sweet nothings in their ear in an environment such as this.

3. Mood Music

Considering the type of music that will be played in the venue that you may be visiting in the hope of finding one’s true love is a must. You may not find your true love if you are at a heavy metal, moshing, banging pots concert as Gueguen-Lamy, (2010) discovered. They found that women were more willing to give male participants their telephone number after listening to romantic music before hand. So, if you have purchased tickets to see Gojira or Marilyn Manson on Valentines Day, in the hope of meeting your true love, maybe you should reconsider!

4. Scary Movie

Often the cinema is a common venue for first dates (or am I showing my age again?!!) so why not take your true love to see a movie – a horror movie. Dutton-Aron, (1974) discovered that if physiological arousal was induced by increasing the anxiety levels of males, males would mistakenly interpret reactions such as sweaty palms, increased breathing rate and heart beat as sexual attraction and desire. So the advice is to take Mr Big to see a horror or an action movie – if you can tolerate the likes of Steven Seagal, Bruce Willis or Sly Stallone for an hour or a half – as it may make it more likely that he will reciprocate your feelings.

5. Don’t wear your heart on your sleeve

Whitchurch et al, (2011) discovered that women were more attracted to men who did not tell them initially, how they felt about them. So, it seems to key is to be mysterious and keep them guessing – although perhaps not too mysterious – as you may find that you are subject to reverse psychology or that they lose interest.

6. The Look of Love

When seeking Mr or Miss Big do so at smaller gatherings according to Lenton-Francesconi, (2010) we make make better decisions regarding potential partners on the basis of more relevant characteristics such as religious views,  occupation & education as opposed to age, height and weight. So, when friends invite you you to dinner with a small group of friends, where one or two may be single accept their offer as you may be more likely to meet Mr or Miss Big rather than meeting someone that you are not compatible with.

7. Lady in Red

Elliot et al, (2010) discovered that in fact men were not the only sex to find others who were wearing red, to be more attractive females, were found to prefer men wearing red clothes or who were in front of red back grounds. Red is said to symbolise sex and romance. A word of caution though,  crooning Chris De Burgh’s “Lady in Red” at a female stranger wearing red,  will probably not impress them and make it more likely that they will reciprocate your feelings – even if you are wearing red!!

Happy Valentines Day!

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