Mummy Meltdown!

No, I haven’t fallen off the face of the earth – I have been ill –  again! Pre- children, I had a fantastic immune system and I only had one day off sick from work in seven years and that was due to a chest infection – I was back in work the next morning, after visiting the doctor to be prescribed antibiotics! It seems that breast feeding Little E for the past nearly seven months  is now having both physical and psychological effects upon me. Even though, Little E has been eating solids for three weeks she has continued to feed throughout the night time which means lying in awkward positions for long periods of time and very little sleep – in fact last night my husband decided to fall into a deep sleep with his knees my lower back whilst, Little E pummelled my lower abdomen with her feet every time the milk flow decreased – not conducive to sleep I can assure you. The result this morning after 2 hours sleep was feeling like Hunch Back of Notre Dame looks! Every muscle (if I still have any that is?!) in my body aches, old sport’s injuries have come back to haunt me and my eyes are sore from recurrent corneal erosion – in other words – I am a complete wreck. Needless, to say this has done wonders for my psychological health and I am currently feeling quite low. I love being a mother to my two monsters but, the past few weeks have left me feeling like I want to get in my car and drive to the nearest beach and sit on the beach for a significant amount of time.

My son, J’s current behaviour is also exhausting and is beginning to make me wonder whether there is any light at the end of the tunnel as far as his challenging behaviour is concerned. He has very recently, begun to wake during the night time – several time a night – and makes a bee line for our bedroom, which in turn wakes up Little E. We have theorised as to why this might be – being cold, night terrors, separation anxiety, being thirsty and we have put into place solutions to these things but, to no avail. So, we have gone from being able to brush our teeth (using an electric toothbrush) in the bathroom next to his bedroom to tip toeing around the house for fear of waking him. In conjunction with this, the terrible two;s has landed with a massive thud in our household and big bro J has been exhibiting some pretty awesome tantrums – which have involved kicking, slapping, throwing himself upon the ground and refusing to move, lashing out at Little E, refusing to sit in his car seat and arching his back so that he cannot be strapped into it etc. At the same time he making humongous  progress in so many developmental areas which has left me in awe and made me feel very proud to be his mummy – I love the running commentary that he provides whilst doing a task or reading aloud.

So, on a positive note I am hoping that Little E will reduce her night time feeds over the next week or so – as she will be 7 months next week and I can then sleep a little more during the night times and big bro J’s challenging behaviour will diminish making melt down’s less likely to occur leading to a happier mummymoo!

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